Mark 12:29-31 says, “Jesus answered him, ‘The most important of all of the commandments is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No greater commandment is greater than these.”
Has anyone ever asked you “Why can’t we all just love each other?” If so you may have chalked it up to something like “That’s just the way society is these days.” I’ve often thought of it this way until recently. I had a friend ask this question and it really challenged me. It’s likely that most of us have been taught and reminded to “Love our neighbor as ourselves.” But what does that actually look like?
The reference comes from the 10 Commandments which are found in Exodus 10 and then is re-stated in Mark 12:28 when Jesus is asked “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?” And he responds with two found in Mark 12:29-31. The commandment to love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And to Love your neighbor as yourself. “Love your neighbor as yourself” is found in the Bible more than just these two times, in fact, it’s found 8 times throughout scripture. I’ve always been told that if someone tells me something more than once then it must be important so 8 times must mean that it’s really important.
In considering what “loving your neighbor as yourself” looks like, I’ve been challenged to consider both sides – how to love yourself and how to love others. The “others” or neighbors could be friends, family, co-workers, fellow Christians, or random people we meet as we travel around (even in the communities we live in).
Here are some questions we can ask ourselves:
– Do I speak to them when I pass by, or do I keep my head down in hopes to not have to talk?
– Do I listen when they need to be heard or do I keep walking?
– Do I genuinely care about their well-being or do I only care about them when there is a personal benefit?
All of these are valid questions. However, as we dig deep we find that we first need to know how we love ourselves. What does that even mean? Loving yourself does not include negative self-talk, demeaning thoughts or actions, or self-destruction. Loving yourself includes knowing what you enjoy, what makes you smile and have fun. It includes understanding that life can’t be perfect. For the perfectionists out there, it’s a hard truth but it’s one that we must embrace in order to live a life well lived. Loving ourselves means that we know our limits and we set boundaries for ourselves. When we find out what choices in our life have positive and negative influences then we can begin to recognize what the negative is and start improving the positive.
We also must recognize that the Father loves us, and even so, His love is more than we will ever be able to imagine. If you’ve spent time in or around nature you’ve seen this in action – the birds and the plants and trees – it’s all a reflection of the Father’s love for His creation. In order to love ourselves and therefore love our neighbors we must understand and embrace that we are loved by the Father. We can see examples of this throughout the Bible and some of my favorites are in Romans and John (Romans 5: 2-5; 8 & John 3:16).
As you’re going through your day to day routine consider how you can influence those around you for the better while discovering how to love yourself better so that you can love people better.
(Samantha is an Engage Group leader and an important part of our Young Adults ministry, as well as being actively involved in many other ministries in the church).